Energy Vampires

If only Energy Vampires wore capes, we could steer clear of them with ease. Unfortunately, Energy Vampires show up in the form of friends, loved ones, and people that don't intentionally wish us ill will. They know not what they do. We lend a sympathetic ear or a helping hand but then it goes on for too long. Oftentimes, we don't even realize we are being sucked dry until we are energetically dead. 

Types of Energy Vampires

The Eternal Victim

We all experience hard times and go through traumatic experiences. We grieve, we need support, but then we move on. 

Of course you want to help someone that you care about that's having a hard time, but these kinds of Energy Vampires do not want your help. It's important to recognize when you are dealing with an Eternal Victim and quit feeding them.

Eternal victims are addicted to misery. It's their default emotion. This probably started in their childhoods. They never got attention unless they were crying. It became a learned behavior. Nobody cares about me unless I'm crying.

To this day, when they are having a crisis or feeling miserable is when they get the most attention. So they always tend to have a problem in their life in order to get that attention/energy hit. They've given their power away. They tend to be very needy and they seem unable to self-soothe. They always look to others to save or rescue them from their unhappiness.

This is never going to happen. Happiness is an inside job. They don't think they are capable of doing it on their own and don't want to do it on their own.

The victim addicts tend to repeatedly say and ask questions like: Why me? Why can't I ever be happy? What did I ever do to deserve this? Nobody loves me. I must have been really evil in my past life. God hates me. I'm so alone. I have no spirit guides or angels watching over me. Wah wah wah all day long.

Good days make them uncomfortable. Eternal Victims are known to self-sabotage a perfectly good time. They bring the storm. The rain on the parade. They're the ones that always end up in tears. 

They will think of any reason they can as to why a good day is in fact not good in order to justify why they suck or to prove how shitty their life is. 

Eternal Victims will "one up" anyone that complains about something. They strive to have the best shittiest life. Self-pity rocks them to sleep at night. 

These types of energy vampires resent positivity. They get irritated if you try to cheer them up. They do not want you to make them feel better. They do not want empowerment. They don't want your help. They lash out. They are the ultimate joy suckers.

They want to be soothed by your sympathy. 

All they want is your company - even if it makes them feel worse! They have incredibly low self-worth. Being around you can make them feel even worse about themselves. They tend to compare their lives to yours and in their eyes they will never match up. This just reinforces their core belief that they are not good enough. 

They project a perfect unattainable life on to you, and get off on wallowing in the fact that they'll never have it as good as you. 

With Eternal Victims everything is always about them and their needs. Your needs are irrelevant because your life is perfect in their eyes and your problems will never be as bad as theirs.

You might find that you tone yourself down when you're around them. You might keep good news to yourself because they take any of your good news or accomplishments as a personal assault on their own happiness. Making you feel guilty or ashamed for how good your life is, is their icing on their pitiful cake.

How dare we feel good when they feel so bad. Being around them eventually brings us down. The more we're around them the lower we start to feel and before you know it the pity-party is now a party of 2.

Misery loves company. 

Tips for Handling the Eternal Victim Energy Vampires:

Don't tell them what they want to hear. Agree with them!

For example: Yeah, your life really does suck; Yeah, I can see why nobody loves you; Yeah, you do look kind of stupid today; Yeah, you really did fuck up that up.

This takes away their food source - sympathy. 

The next time they have a sob story try replying with "so what?" You will no longer be of use to them. You will ruin their pity party and no longer be invited. YES!

The Sleepwalker

We all get busy, tired, and forgetful sometimes, but we recover after a little rest and decompression. 

Sleepwalkers live in a perpetual state of unconsciousness. They disassociate to survive. They live life on autopilot and are completely oblivious to the emotions of others.

Unlike Eternal Victims who thrive on negativity, Sleepwalkers spend every waking hour of the day avoiding negativity. They don't want to go there and are constantly on the run from feeling pain or sadness.

Sleepwalkers zoom throughout their day from activity to activity never being fully present anywhere. They are so busy in doing things and being distracted that they forget everything, no matter how important. 

With Sleepwalkers, it's like Groundhog Day.  Every time you see them you have the same conversation. They have no memory of having told you something 1,000 times already because they're never present when they're talking.

There's no meaning behind anything they say, it's just mindless chatter to fill in silence. They're usually connected to their phones at all times only half listening to anything you say...which is why they don't remember.

These Energy Vampires are so caught up in keeping busy, they have absolutely no clue what's going on with anyone else.  

Their mind and body are completely disconnected. They are literally running around with their heads cut off. 

Sleepwalkers live in a perpetual state of exhaustion and being with them is exhausting and irritating. They need constant companionship/babysitting.

It's not that they want to hang out with you specifically to spend time with you. You could be anyone. They just don't want to be alone.

They're never fully engaged with you and they waste so much of your time.

They are running running running away from their problems and anyone else's.

Slowing down and just sitting with their own emotions is too painful. Being alone means they have to face their pain. Silence is unbearable.

They cling to you to avoid having to be with themselves.

They don't want to connect, they want to escape. You are merely a resource.

They want you to entertain them. They use up every hour of their day so when they get home they just pass out and don't risk having any time for contemplation. 

They will run you into the ground.

Tips for Handling the Sleepwalking Energy Vampires:

The Sleepwalkers are looking for easy distractions from their problems. Don't make it easy.

Decline their invitations for the mundane time wasting activities.  

Don't engage in surface conversations. Go deep. Ask them how they're doing, like really doing. Probe into their lives. Go in depth about yours.

Real life stuff makes them uncomfortable. They resist any kind of deep connections or conversations. They don't want to feel pain. They make it a point of avoiding feeling any negative emotions. If you keep asking deep personal questions that will make them uncomfortable. They will find a reason to leave or no longer want to engage with you. YES!

The Taker

We all need help...once in a while. 

Takers need help constantly. They always need a favor. They are eternally helpless to help themselves. They will ask for help for the simplest tasks. They always have an excuse as to why they can't do something themselves.

These Energy Vampires are always in a crisis. They make their problems your problems. They're always in a jam - all of their own doing. They get off on thwarting personal responsibility.

Takers are the ones that make you cringe when you see their name show up on your phone or you try to hide from when they show up unannounced. 

You instantly know that this interaction is going to cost you something whether it be time, money, or inconvenience. All things you'll never get back and will never be reciprocated. 

For many people asking other people for help is extremely uncomfortable and nerve-wrecking. Takers have no such afflictions. They have no qualms about taking your last dollar. They have no hesitation calling you any hour of the day or night.

Your personal time is of no value to them. It never occurs to them that you have a life outside of helping them at their beckon call.

Takers have no boundaries. Nothing is off limits or too outrageous. 

Some Takers tend to have an air of charm about them, which is how they continue to manage to suck people dry. Much like that of a psychopath - their M.O. is to charm, use, and discard.

They are bottomless pits of needs. They will continue to take until there is nothing left. Give them an inch and they will swallow you whole.

These Energy Vampires expect your help. They can be quick to get angry if you refuse their request no matter how unreasonable it is. Nothing triggers a Taker like the word "no."

These Energy Vampires continuously impede on your life.

They will irritate, guilt, and manipulate the shit out of you until they get their way. You end up helping them just so they'll go away.

Takers don't form emotional connections or attachments. Your relationship with them is one sided. 

Takers can't take care of themselves so they will always need someone to take care of them.

They are always casing their next resource - someone who shows compassion, is responsible, and sees the best in people is the perfect trifecta.

Tips for Dealing with The Takers:

Don't be a nurse or a purse!

They feed on being bailed out and taken care of. Cut them the fuck off. Hide out. Don't answer their calls. Lock your doors. Block them from social media. You must delete them from your lives.

If after all of this you still have the misfortune of running into them, say NO without explanation. You do not owe them a reason. No is a complete sentence. They can't comprehend anything else. You will only dig yourself in a whole if you try to explain or make an excuse. They will fast talk you out of any excuse so don't bother.

Try asking them for something (like money they probably owe you) and watch how fast they disappear. YES!

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