If you've read any of my stories in the Misadventures of an Indigo series about working, you'll know that every time I get a job, I end up developing some debilitating health problem. For most of my life I didn't know that this was happening to other Indigos as well. It would have been nice to know. I'm almost 40 now and I'm grateful to know that I'm not the only one who's body won't allow them to become apart of the workforce system. But why? Why does this only seem to effect us? Here's my theory:
Indigos are nonconformists. We are physically unable to do what anyone tells us to do. When you get a job, you are conforming to what your family, society, and everyone else wants you to do. How can you not have a job?! What makes you so special?? Conforming robs you of your originality - the thing that makes you, you. Conforming makes you like someone else instead of yourself. All pain is a symptom of not being yourself.
Indigos are system busters. We are meant to change the 9-5 system, not become a part of it. I started my "awakening" in 2011, just after I had graduated from law school. Awakening for me is when you start to realize there's got to be more to life than this. And you start wondering why everything is the way it is and why no one is doing anything about it. You start seeking answers and eventually get led down a rabbit hole.
Eventually, I came across information pointing to the richest families in the world, known as The Illuminati. It started with banking. They became the financers of nations.
The Unites States' bank is known as The Fed. The Fed is the only institution or person that can take on debt without having to give collateral. The Fed's money isn't backed by anything like gold. Money is completely made up.
These banking families create the currency that is loaned to The Fed - and they own The Fed.
They create money out of nothing and it's all theirs. We humans slave away our time, energy, and life force for this made up thing called money, that is worth less and less each year, just to end up giving it right back to them. They own the money supply, everything it can buy, us, the media, politicians, pharma, nations, etc. Everyone serves the puppet masters.
Awareness is the first step to change. It is not in the systems interest to have awakened self-aware people like Indigos. The system needs worker drones who are stressed and need money so they don’t revolt.
Can you see why we Indigos have resistance at a soul level to participating in this farce?? We know too much. We know how the system works. Our immune systems won't allow us to perpetuate this cycle of misery. Our inner awareness won't allow us to keep these banking families in power by playing the game that they created. We're here to stop it. Banking is the greatest cause of suffering and bloodshed.
When your paycheck is deposited to your bank account, your bank makes loans against that money. They are allowed to loan out about 9 times as much money as they have in their reserve, which is valueless currency anyway. Every loan makes "your" money worth less and less. This keeps everyone stuck. This keeps change from happening.
It's all just a fucking shitshow that has gone on for far too long. Money started like everything else in this universe – as an idea. Money is only an idea!! There's no reason we can't come up with a new idea. Change the systems. Change the world.
Money is just the middle man to getting what we want. Thinking that working is the only way to get money or what we want limits all the other ways we've never even considered to getting what we want. We have to think bigger.
How can money work for us instead of us working for it? There's no reason we need to work 40 hours or 5 days a week. This concept was all made up just like money. We're wasting our time and our precious life force energy essentially just to collect air. We're damming the next generation to have to do the same.
The workforce is just a terrible play we wake up every day and preform. We're all actors. The only way the show can't go on is if we stop preforming. We must stop performing.
If you are struggling to become a contributing member of society like everyone else with loved one who can't understand why you can't just get up and go to work like everyone else - know that you are not alone and there's nothing wrong with you. I want to share the thread I saw that inspired this post:
Had a painful talk with my dad yesterday. He kept saying to me over and over “you’re 23, you are an adult and you’re acting like you’re 10” because I had to quit my job because my body entered a huge health crisis after just 2 days. I really wanted to make it work but I had to choose my health and well-being over being “good” in my parents’ eyes and “independent”. 9 to 5s literally always have such a horrible impact on my body.
Two years ago I worked at a fairly relaxed job and still after 2 weeks my body became swollen everywhere, a huge rash over my face my whole body, and they had to take me to a hospital where I stayed for 4 days. It completely went away when I didn't return to work.
I've had so many breakdowns in a 9 to 5 before, like my system is just so fucking sensitive that I literally can't not listen to it. Like it doesn’t feel like that's even an option to ignore and suppress it.
He was saying things like “you’re gonna kill me one day, I could die you are just using me, I was stupid for believing you'd have a stable job”... his tone was so disappointed like he was “giving up” on me. It was super painful. Here I am trying so hard to not give up on my body and trying so hard and all my parents think about is how I’m bad for doing that as if I could magically snap my fingers and make it go away.
They are so blind to my reality, and its so so so painful to know that. How do you get over that? It makes me wanna just die because of how unloved they make me feel.
I hear you. That’s so painful to be judged by people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. I am unable to work a regular job too for similar reasons. I’m working from home and that’s better but I feel like I’m going downhill even with that.
It feels like some of us aren’t native to the way this world is. We operate differently and when we try to assimilate, we get sick.
I hope you can somehow find a way to stay connected to who you really are and give yourself what you really need. I know it’s hard. I’ve been obsessed with learning how to manifest wealth because I can’t do it the old fashioned way.
This world wasn’t made for people like us.
I feel you, my parents are the same and their disappointment runs deep. It is a very painful thing to realize.
There's really nothing worse than feeling disappointment in others, the shame is so thick... I've been struggling and been unable to work for the past 10 years due to how my whole body and system reacts when I start working. It sounds very similar, and I'm so sorry that you're going through that.
I recently quit my super easy low paying covid screener job in order to work from home full time, doing a job that was not my cup of tea because my boyfriend thought that's the only way to get ahead is working a full time job that pays well. After 2.5 weeks my body said hell no and I ended up completely debilitated in severe pain. I almost had to have emergency surgery, but as soon as I called that job and really asked for what I want, which is part time, and they told me no, I quit, and my body started to heal immediately. The first day without pain was the day after I quit.
I have been in similar situation myself. Also quit job and mostly disconnected with my blood family.
I'm old enough to be your mother, and this has been my reality also. A lot of people aren't going to get it. They will use the only language they know how to express their ignorance and frustration with it - words like "lazy" and "entitled" and "freeloader." It is very hurtful, and absolutely ineffective too because no one in the history of ever has been shamed and brow beaten into doing "better." But their ignorance is nearly impossible to fix.
Even jobs I really want, even working part time, I wind up experiencing a crash and illness in a short amount of time. I had a job that was relatively easy, 12 hours a week, and I lasted 7 months which was still really hard for me to endure, and I spent 4 months recovering.
My unsolicited advice to you is stop trying to fit the square peg into the round hole. I spent many years thinking, if I just fix my fucked up head, if I just get the right job, the right degree, the right meds, it'll all click and I can be normal. Nope.
If I can save someone the years I spent trying to force myself to be something I wasn't then at least it can serve some good I guess.
Get creative and start finding alternatives to traditional 9-5 income. A lot of what people call "side hustles" are good primary options for us. But you have to really like the work. The internet has made it easier to be whatever we are (autistic, hsp, ptsd, spiritually gifted, whatever) and make a living for ourselves.
I'm sorry to hear that I'm also very fragile with a very judgemental father. I'm 26, and still deal w this. You're not alone.
I’m 26 and have similar experiences, too. It’s definitely hard to deal with. It’s insane how little our parents understand about our realities.
This is so sad, brutal and just REALLY fucked up. Your parents are making it about THEIR wellbeing when here it is obviously and formost about yours.
I think that one of the greatest desires parents instinctively have, is for their children to become independent so that they can survive and thrive when the parents pass on. To realize or believe that is not going to happen, can be very painful, disappointing and upsetting. If these feelings become overwhelming and they are not able to handle them, they may take their pain and frustration out on you - something which is wrong, immature and stupid. But I think it's quite normal/natural, unfortunately.
Sorry I just recently quit my job and mostly due to my health, and I’ve had trouble having a normal job in the past even part time. I do a lot of entrepreneurial ventures outside of work and heavily investing in a variety of areas as well (crypto, real estate, etc.) so I can relate and feel where you’re coming from
I am the same..thats why we were born to these environments..to turn over this perspective that society/parents have! To stay firm in our needs and the way our life is structured! No doubts.
It is so sad that they can't see your reality, and that they don't believe you. I imagine its already hard enough to leave a job you enjoyed, and on top of that they are not seeing that you had to do it because your physical health was declining so much. That really is painful. And the way he is manipulating you saying you'll kill him, that is really disgusting to try to put on you. You needed support and they gaslit and denied your reality, and were abusive. I'm so sorry love, this is not what you deserve, and I'm so glad you chose yourself in this situation.
It caused me insomnia and panic attacks and malnutrition.
It's called being an hsp and it's real. What you are going through is so real. Hopefully you can find outside support to deal. The last generation thought everyone needed to work themselves to death but it's not true anymore.
You are sensitive. You are exactly the lesson in softness, vulnerability and deep sensitivity that your family obviously needs to progress, and they are treating you like you are the problem. Their outdated pushing you into their personal expectations without any regard for you, for who you really are is the problem.
I get that they aren’t aware. I get that they probably have no fucking clue as to the true blessing and gift that you are, but you, you deserve better.