Your emotions are so important. Your emotions are your guidance system. If you have awareness about what you're feeling then you always have access to your truth - what's working for you and what is not. What is good for you and what is not. If you do that, then you are creating the reality you want.
Your emotions lead you to your desires. If you follow your guidance towards feeling better and happiness on a day to day basis then your life becomes everything you could possibly want. All anyone wants is to be happy. To be happy you have to go in the direction of happiness.
So, if you're working a job that you hate working and your emotions tell you don't like working there because it feels negative - you have to stop and go in the direction of your happiness.
When you are forcing yourself to get up every morning to do something you hate you're holding yourself out of alignment with your truth. You're prohibiting vital life force energy from flowing through your body. This will make you sick.
Some common ways the body will show misalignment is in the form of exhaustion, headaches, and autoimmune disease.
Ignore or suppress your emotional guidance system at your own peril. If you do not follow your natural state of happiness, the truth of who you are, you will get sick and die. And for what?
If you've read any of my stories in the Misadventures of an Indigo series about working, you'll know that every time I get a job, I end up developing some debilitating health problem. For most of my life I didn't know that this was happening to other people as well. It would have been nice to know. Better late than never I guess. I'm almost 40 now and I'm grateful to know that I'm not the only one who's body won't allow them to become a part of the workforce system or another cog in the machine. But why? Why does this only seem to effect us?
I have some theories:
Indigos are nonconformists. We are resistant as hell to do anything we don't want to do. We are physically unable to do what anyone tells us to do.
When you get a job, you are conforming to what your family, society, and everyone else wants you to do because everyone else is doing it. Having a job is normal and expected. You are conditioned your whole life to work. If we don't conform to this expectation we are punished in a variety of ways. But if we do conform we are punished by our own body's eco system.
Conforming robs you of your originality - the thing that makes you, you. Conforming cloaks the truth of who you really are. All pain is a symptom of not being yourself. Pain is your wake up call to get back on course with what you value and what you want. Not continue doing what everyone else wants you to do.
Indigos are system busters. This is why we are on this planet. We aren't meant to become a part of the system. Our bodies and are very essence are incompatible with today's various systems that run our society. We are meant to change the 9-5 enslavement system. This system hasn't been right in a long long time. We're here to change things not to just suck it up and deal with it like everyone else. With every choice, decision, and action you make you are either investing your energy towards upholding the old systems or into creating new ones. Our bodies response to operating within old systems is debilitating. It physically won't let us continue.
And then there is our inner bullshit detector...the thing that knows why people even work in the first place.
I started my "awakening" in 2011, just after I had graduated from law school with a massive amount of debt. I define Awakening as when you start to realize there's got to be more to life than just this. You start questioning everything. Then you start seeking answers. This leads you down a rabbit hole.
As of today, the rabbit hole information is now well known - but widely dismissed as a conspiracy theory. I believe this is because the core information about banking and money ended up getting linked with a lot of ugly stuff that just went way too far for people's brains to handle. So because of this, the core information is being dismissed along with the more extremely disturbing elements.
Try to stick with me here. This information will either ring true inside you or not.
The core information is about the richest families in the world. You know their names.
It started with banking. These families became the financers of nations. They own EVERYTHING.
For example, the Unites States' bank is known as The Fed. The Fed is a group of private banks. The Fed is the only institution or person that can take on debt without having to give collateral.
The Fed's money isn't backed by anything like gold. Money is completely made up. It's only backed up by belief. Money has value because we all believe and trust that it does.
These banking families create the currency that is loaned to The Fed - and they own The Fed.
They create money out of nothing - and it's all theirs. They charge interest on money that never existed.
When your paycheck is deposited to your bank account, your bank makes loans against that money. They are allowed to loan out about 9 times as much money as they have in their reserve. Every loan makes your money worth less and less.
This keeps everyone stuck. This keeps change from happening.
We humans slave away our time, energy, and life force for this made up thing called money. Just to end up giving the money right back to those that created it.
These families own the money supply, everything it can buy, us, the media, politicians, pharma, nations, etc. Everyone serves these puppet masters. We are the fertilizer they grow their money in.
Exactly right. Awareness of this sham is the first step to change.
It is not in the system's interest to have people aware of what's going on. The system needs worker drones who are stressed and need money so they don’t revolt.
Can you see why we Indigos have resistance at a soul level to participating in this farce?? There's something in us that is wholly immune to being controlled. This system of the workforce is nothing but indentured servitude and exploitation. We're here to stop it.
The workforce is just a terrible show we wake up every day and preform. We're all actors. The only way the show can't go on is if we stop preforming.
There's no reason we need to work 40 hours or 5 days a week. This concept was all made up just like money. We're wasting our time and our precious life force energy essentially just to collect air.
Indigos are not playing this game that they created. Banking is the greatest cause of suffering and bloodshed.
We can't be a part of this. If you are struggling to become a contributing member of society and have loved ones who can't understand why you can't just get up and go to work like everyone else - know that you are not alone and there's nothing wrong with you.
Money started like everything else in this universe – as an idea. Money is only an idea!! There's no reason we can't come up with a new idea.
In the future we will work a few hours a day serving our community - because we want to. People will provide services because they like to. Things like food, energy, and medicine won't cost a thing.
Change the systems. Change the world.
Below is the thread I saw that inspired this post:
Had a painful talk with my dad yesterday. He kept saying to me over and over “you’re 23, you are an adult and you’re acting like you’re 10” because I had to quit my job because my body entered a huge health crisis after just 2 days. I really wanted to make it work but I had to choose my health and well-being over being “good” in my parents’ eyes and “independent”. 9 to 5s literally always have such a horrible impact on my body.
Two years ago I worked at a fairly relaxed job and still after 2 weeks my body became swollen everywhere, a huge rash over my face my whole body, and they had to take me to a hospital where I stayed for 4 days. It completely went away when I didn't return to work.
I've had so many breakdowns in a 9 to 5 before, like my system is just so fucking sensitive that I literally can't not listen to it. Like it doesn’t feel like that's even an option to ignore and suppress it.
He was saying things like “you’re gonna kill me one day, I could die you are just using me, I was stupid for believing you'd have a stable job”... his tone was so disappointed like he was “giving up” on me. It was super painful. Here I am trying so hard to not give up on my body and trying so hard and all my parents think about is how I’m bad for doing that as if I could magically snap my fingers and make it go away.
They are so blind to my reality, and its so so so painful to know that. How do you get over that? It makes me wanna just die because of how unloved they make me feel.
I hear you. That’s so painful to be judged by people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. I am unable to work a regular job too for similar reasons. I’m working from home and that’s better but I feel like I’m going downhill even with that.
It feels like some of us aren’t native to the way this world is. We operate differently and when we try to assimilate, we get sick.
I hope you can somehow find a way to stay connected to who you really are and give yourself what you really need. I know it’s hard. I’ve been obsessed with learning how to manifest wealth because I can’t do it the old fashioned way.
This world wasn’t made for people like us.
I feel you, my parents are the same and their disappointment runs deep. It is a very painful thing to realize.
There's really nothing worse than feeling disappointment in others, the shame is so thick... I've been struggling and been unable to work for the past 10 years due to how my whole body and system reacts when I start working. It sounds very similar, and I'm so sorry that you're going through that.
I recently quit my super easy low paying covid screener job in order to work from home full time, doing a job that was not my cup of tea because my boyfriend thought that's the only way to get ahead is working a full time job that pays well. After 2.5 weeks my body said hell no and I ended up completely debilitated in severe pain. I almost had to have emergency surgery, but as soon as I called that job and really asked for what I want, which is part time, and they told me no, I quit, and my body started to heal immediately. The first day without pain was the day after I quit.
I have been in similar situation myself. Also quit job and mostly disconnected with my blood family.
I'm old enough to be your mother, and this has been my reality also. A lot of people aren't going to get it. They will use the only language they know how to express their ignorance and frustration with it - words like "lazy" and "entitled" and "freeloader." It is very hurtful, and absolutely ineffective too because no one in the history of ever has been shamed and brow beaten into doing "better." But their ignorance is nearly impossible to fix.
Even jobs I really want, even working part time, I wind up experiencing a crash and illness in a short amount of time. I had a job that was relatively easy, 12 hours a week, and I lasted 7 months which was still really hard for me to endure, and I spent 4 months recovering.
My unsolicited advice to you is stop trying to fit the square peg into the round hole. I spent many years thinking, if I just fix my fucked up head, if I just get the right job, the right degree, the right meds, it'll all click and I can be normal. Nope.
If I can save someone the years I spent trying to force myself to be something I wasn't then at least it can serve some good I guess.
Get creative and start finding alternatives to traditional 9-5 income. A lot of what people call "side hustles" are good primary options for us. But you have to really like the work. The internet has made it easier to be whatever we are (autistic, hsp, ptsd, spiritually gifted, whatever) and make a living for ourselves.
I'm sorry to hear that I'm also very fragile with a very judgemental father. I'm 26, and still deal w this. You're not alone.
I’m 26 and have similar experiences, too. It’s definitely hard to deal with. It’s insane how little our parents understand about our realities.
This is so sad, brutal and just REALLY fucked up. Your parents are making it about THEIR wellbeing when here it is obviously and formost about yours.
I think that one of the greatest desires parents instinctively have, is for their children to become independent so that they can survive and thrive when the parents pass on. To realize or believe that is not going to happen, can be very painful, disappointing and upsetting. If these feelings become overwhelming and they are not able to handle them, they may take their pain and frustration out on you - something which is wrong, immature and stupid. But I think it's quite normal/natural, unfortunately.
Sorry I just recently quit my job and mostly due to my health, and I’ve had trouble having a normal job in the past even part time. I do a lot of entrepreneurial ventures outside of work and heavily investing in a variety of areas as well (crypto, real estate, etc.) so I can relate and feel where you’re coming from
I am the same..thats why we were born to these environments..to turn over this perspective that society/parents have! To stay firm in our needs and the way our life is structured! No doubts.
It is so sad that they can't see your reality, and that they don't believe you. I imagine its already hard enough to leave a job you enjoyed, and on top of that they are not seeing that you had to do it because your physical health was declining so much. That really is painful. And the way he is manipulating you saying you'll kill him, that is really disgusting to try to put on you. You needed support and they gaslit and denied your reality, and were abusive. I'm so sorry love, this is not what you deserve, and I'm so glad you chose yourself in this situation.
It caused me insomnia and panic attacks and malnutrition.
It's called being an hsp and it's real. What you are going through is so real. Hopefully you can find outside support to deal. The last generation thought everyone needed to work themselves to death but it's not true anymore.
You are sensitive. You are exactly the lesson in softness, vulnerability and deep sensitivity that your family obviously needs to progress, and they are treating you like you are the problem. Their outdated pushing you into their personal expectations without any regard for you, for who you really are is the problem.
I get that they aren’t aware. I get that they probably have no fucking clue as to the true blessing and gift that you are, but you, you deserve better.