Hawai'i

I love Hawai'i. It's my favorite place in the world. It is my home. Which makes this travel post different than the others.

There's a difference between being a tourist and being a traveler. Be a traveler.

Before traveling to Hawai'i, regardless of which island, there are some basic things you should know to ensure that you have a good time while not pissing off the locals, as tensions are high between the people that live here and the visitor industry as a whole.

Aloha has many meanings but it's also a way of life. Hawai'i is a collective society. We treat each other like family. We call each other Aunty, Uncle, or Sis as a term of endearment and a sign of respect. We have Hanai family members - those that are not blood related or legally related, but family, nonetheless.

We look out for each other. That's important for you to know. When one of our own is treated badly - you're offending all of us. This is a small place and word travels fast (coconut wireless).

Probably the most important thing to carry with you is kindness and thoughtfulness - even if it's not in your nature. We still know how to treat people with aloha even when they're being donkeys.

Road Etiquette

Don't honk your horn unless you're saying hello - trust me.

When driving along the beach, always stop to let pedestrians cross. Always let other cars out of driveways. You know - be nice!

Never just stop in the road and get out of your car to take a picture. If there's no place to pull over, then better luck next time. Take a snapshot in your mind and keep it moving.

This willy nilly parking wherever you please has caused so many problems it's ruined things for everyone. Many no parking signs have gone up and are strictly enforced in some of our favorite places, and some places now require reservations to enter.

If you see a local car behind you, pull over the first chance you get and let them pass.

Ocean Safety

We really hate when visitors put our lifeguards and first responders in harms way to come rescue you when you've put yourself in a situation you shouldn't have. Unfortunately, this is a regular occurrence.

I know you spent a lot of money and travelled a long way to get here. That doesn't mean you can just do everything you had planned. Weather and ocean conditions may derail your plans.

Check your weather app. Is it going to rain? Then maybe don't go on that hike in that area that is prone to flash flooding.

You might be shocked to learn how many ocean related injuries and deaths occur in our waters. Oftentimes, they are preventable. There are some beaches that are consistently dangerous. But on some days, especially in winter, it is just not safe to get in the ocean at all.

I know most people live in landlocked places and just don't know better, so please be receptive to advice. They are just trying to prevent a disaster. We can tell people who are clueless and about to put themselves in danger.

Not every beach has lifeguards, so it's important to learn about ocean conditions. Ocean conditions change daily but in Hawai'i, they can change in an instant when the trade winds pick up suddenly, as they usually do every afternoon.

Hawai'i has dangerous shore break. That means if you are in shallow enough water that you can stand up - then you're in the danger zone. This is where the waves break and crash onto shore or your head, causing life changing injuries. Do not learn the hard way.

You don't jump over waves here; you dive under them. And you have to time it right and be out far enough, so you don't get sucked over the falls and driven headfirst into the sand.

Do not boogie board in these conditions. You will get scorpioned. You don't aim toward the shore in these conditions, you turn into the barrel.

When you get to a beach look around. Is it too windy to put up an umbrella? Are there whitecaps? It's not fun to swim in choppy conditions let alone snorkel.

Is there a swell? Do the waves sound like thunder when they crash on shore? Can you hear them from the parking lot? Not a good day to get in. It might look calm at first but before you know it a series of big waves may come in. People always panic and try to get out when this happens instead of just waiting for them to pass and get out when it's flat again. You're going to get knocked over or tumbled onto shore doing this.

If there are lifeguards on the beach, they will post red flags in the sand warning you of dangerous conditions and they will be on the loudspeaker regularly trying to prevent injuries. Listen as hard as you can as it is often impossible to understand what they are saying. You can go up and talk to them.

It's awesome to see the power of the ocean. I love the sound and feel of the energy giant crashing waves can bring. You just don't need to get in to experience it. You're putting yourself and someone else at risk.

If it's safe enough to be in the water remember to never turn your back on it. Even though it was calm when you got in, a big wave can easily knock you over when you go to get out.

Hang on to your garbage and pick up any that you see.

Not every beach has bathrooms and or showers. We keep jugs of water in the car to rinse off.

Snorkeling

Snorkeling is my favorite activity in life. It's mind-blowing to me how many people die doing it. It can be more strenuous than you would think. It seems like most times there is an underlying medical issue which causes people to die.

The first question locals ask when someone dies snorkeling is, did they have a full-face snorkel mask on? Most boat companies won't allow you to use one of these on their trips, they are such a liability. It is thought that these types of masks cause people to black out from carbon dioxide poisoning from not exhaling all the way out, thus causing them to drown because they are unconscious.

My first question is, what time was it?

As a general rule, snorkeling is usually best done in the morning. There are some exceptions, but note the wind usually always picks up at some point in the afternoon. People run into trouble in rough conditions.

There have been times I've been out early, and the wind picks up out of nowhere. I can hear the wind howling through my snorkel. Swimming gets a lot tougher. Visibility gets worse. It starts getting choppy and the water splashes down into your snorkel tube. It's time to get back to shore ASAP.

It would suck if you came all the way here and are unable to snorkel, but there's always a chance it could happen. Ocean conditions can vary drastically from day to day and even from morning to afternoon.

You want it as flat and clear as possible.

If the wind was blowing all night, don't bother. The sand will be all churned up and you won't be able to see anything. If you see whitecaps, do not snorkel. If there's a swell - or you see big shore break, don't snorkel. If people are surfing then it's not a good spot to snorkel, those two activities don't go together. If it looks stirred up, do not snorkel. If it just rained hard, do not snorkel - there will probably be a brown water advisory.

I have warned tourists that it's not a good day to snorkel and then watched in dismay as they got tumbled back on to the beach. I told ya. It's too rough. I know you came all the way to do this, but you're not going to have fun on a bad ocean day and you're definitely not going to see anything.

I prefer to snorkel from shore, because it is free. If conditions are not good, a snorkel cruise may be a good option as they may be able to anchor in a more wind protected less rough spot.

Please tip the boat crew, they get paid shockingly little.

When the conditions are ok to snorkel from shore - put your snorkel gear on in the water and snorkel by the rocks. You're not going to see anything snorkeling over sand. It's astounding how many people do this. You come all the way to Hawaii to snorkel and don't see anything because you didn't go where the fish are.

Do not stand on anything but sand. All those things you think are rocks - are not and they have very delicate life on them. Do not stand on them. Don't touch the reef. Don't accidently kick the reef. Don't stick your hands in holes or anything else.

The reef is razor sharp. If you get cut - get out ASAP. The water is full of bacteria and you will get a staph infection. Rinse off and sanitize the wound ASAP. I bring Bactine and liquid bandage in my beach bag just in case.

Do not hover over the top of a turtle. They need to come up for air. Do not touch a turtle. Give them space. Don't chase them. If you stay in one place, they will hang out longer.

Hawaiian Green Sea Turtles are a protected species. If you see one lying on the beach, don't disturb it - that includes running your mouth. They are sleeping. Do you know how much effort it took them to get there? Leave them alone.

This goes for Hawaiian Monk Seals as well. They aren't always going to end up in place with a rope around it. Stay back.

Dining/Shopping

We run on island time.

If you go to the deli at my grocery store, prepare to lose the next 20 minutes of your life. Minimum. Even if no one's in line. The same goes for checking out.

If there are people in front of you, know that everyone more or less knows everyone here, so you'll inevitably get stuck behind people talking story (catching up).

I was once in the middle of checking out of the concession line at the movie theater, when I saw a friend, I hadn't seen in 10 years, walking across the parking lot. I yelled, "I'll be right back!" and then ran outside before completing the transaction.

You know how every fast food or restaurant commercial always has an asterisk at the bottom of the screen saying that prices are higher in Alaska and Hawaii? How ever much you think things cost here, at least double it.

I always overhear sticker shock in the grocery store. Yeah. It's bad. Everything gets shipped in here, so everything includes a shipping price.

Since we rely on ships for goods, it's not uncommon to find empty shelves. I can't tell you how many times I go to the store and there's no milk. You'll often see signs up saying something about the ship is late, try again in a few days.

I'm just telling you these things so you can manage your expectations. There is no such thing as quick or convenience here. Bring your own grocery bags!

Dining is so expensive that I recommend only going out to eat at happy hour.

I'm a casual diner and I'm not a foodie so take this with a grain of salt, in my experience, any place with a view is overpriced and mediocre - including the food at resorts. The best places usually have only one dirty picnic table to sit at.

Know that it's not uncommon for restaurants not to have bathrooms. You have to get a key or a code number and go walk around the side of the building.

Whether you're sitting inside or outside expect to see wildlife - predominately chickens, roosters, birds, and lizards. They are inescapable and just part of the experience. I'm writing these words from my living room that's infested with lizards and I can hear roosters crowing outside.

I once met up with a friend that was visiting, we were at a nice-ish restaurant and had a waterfront table. Her husband was complaining about the ants. Lol. What do you want them to do? We're outside bro. It's a tropical island. Be glad it's just ants.

I know you may have a picture in your head about how glamours Hawai'i is but it's better to think of it like camping. Very expensive camping.

Don't be too precious and don't be too fancy. I was once on a windy sunset dinner cruise when a lady's plate flew up and hit me in the face. It was covered in ranch.

And do you know how many times a lizard has squeezed it's way through my closed bathroom window above my shower while I was showering?!

Which island?

I don't know you'll have to find out for yourself. Each island has its own vibe - and gatekeeper. They say that the volcano goddess Pele will either take you in or kick you out. I can attest to this. I've been taken in on Maui and kicked around on the others. You'll have to see where you're a match to by trial and error. You won't know until you go.

For a brief and biased overview:

Oahu is a complete mad house. It's like LA on an island, with even worse traffic. It's totally over developed. Your view will likely be of high-rises. It's where the most people live, has the most going on, and the only island with a night life. A lot of people like the hustle and bustle of Waikiki. Not me. It's way more mellow on the North Shore.

Kauai is where Hawaiians go to vacation - or at least they used to when we could afford it. It is the most beautiful and least developed island, and has little to do but just relax and take in the awe inspiring surroundings. Waimea Canyon is known as the Grand Canyon of the Pacific. Nā Pali coast is stunning. Hanalei Bay is up there for being the most beautiful place in all of Hawai'i.

Lanai is tiny and can be seen on a day trip from Maui. Larry Ellison, co-founder of Oracle, owns 98% of the island, so do with that what you will. If you stay there, you'll be staying at the Four Seasons, which he owns. There's a small town square and Hulopo'e Bay has a nice beach in walking distance from the harbor. I haven't made it to the cat sanctuary, yet.

I have yet to visit Molokai.

Maui and the Big Island are a good medium.

The Big Island is best known for its active volcanos and Volcanos National Park. Kona is the dry side and Hilo the wet. Akaka State Falls, Rainbow Falls, and snorkeling at night with manta rays were a highlight of mine. I also got to take a charter boat to swim with wild dolphins before it became prohibited.

In September of 2021, NOAA Fisheries announced the protection of Hawaiian spinner dolphins and prevent their disturbance. This rule prohibits swimming with, approaching, or remaining within 50 yards of a Hawaiian spinner dolphin (for persons, vessels, and objects).

Maui is the best, I'm biased of course. I visited 13 times before moving here. It's my favorite place on Earth.